29 March 2014

Dreams of Being a Butterfly


Spring is truly here. Just a little over a week since my 53rd birthday and I feel a profound sense of excitement, renewal, delight. This is my favorite season. Everything seems fairly bursting with promise and possibility, including me!


During the night my dreams were sensual, seductive, and vividly colourful. I felt so happy... I remember wanting to embrace them a little longer when I became softly aware of the sun pouring in upon me, but something akin to childhood glee encouraged me to wake up and joyfully jump out of bed. So, I did...



29 March 2014  Journal Entry:



I awoke with a renewed sense of purpose, beauty and gratitude this morning. It feels wonderful to have chosen to love myself in this new way. I feel excited, passionate and somehow lighter, already. Perhaps, my excess weight has more to do with emotional and mental 'heaviness' than it does with my body. It's as if my body simply became a mirror showing me all that I've held on to for far too long. Now, I feel FREE.




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I dreamed of being the butterfly. 


She begins as an egg (innocent). Content to simply be. Content only to dream....


Suddenly, life happens, and she feels the instinctive need to grow (develop and learn). Unaware, she becomes a slave to hunger. With an insatiable desire to constantly consume (ideas, information, lovers, obligations / responsibilities), she finds herself so plump, so far beyond the image she once held of herself. She knows that she is destined to be something lighter and more beautiful, yet, for the life of her she does not know how to change. Within, there is an innate whisper, a deep longing, an aching for something more ~ something colourful, fragrant and sensual. But still, she goes on as she always has, unconsciously consuming the endless monotony of her current reality. 


Until one day, she declares to herself ENOUGHShe is too big and too weary to take in or on another thing! She simply stops and cocoons herself away from all that she knows. She releases the daily habits; the relentless schedule she once thought vital. She closes her eyes, willing to just let go, to become nothing ~ and in this place she literally turns to goo! Perhaps, there are tears: a dissolving away of old fears, old limitations, old ideals, old ways... She simply surrenders and waits. For what she does not know. Time becomes immeasurable. She is unaware of anything beyond her present need to go inward.


THEN, in a single moment of awakening, she 'sees the light'. She KNOWS that everything has changed. Not in the world, but within herself! Something is different. She feels different. Aware that she is on edge of complete transformation from the life she has always known. she senses that she has wings. They are fragile, yet strong. Though she knows, that she cannot be rushed to unfold before she is ready. Even when she desperately desire help, she knows she must do this alone. She must gather her courage and patiently wait for her own inner juices to flow. She trusts that her wings will strengthen. She can hardly wait to spread wide and open herself to the world. Quietly, she prepares herself for the unknown adventures that await... by making choices that are in true alignment, and are in harmony with her authentic truth of being! 

She anticipates the day she will FLY


FLY is an acronym for: Fully Love Yourself.

She becomes the butterfly that she has always known herself to be. She dreamed of this moment, this glorious day when she could be her most beautiful self ~ Now, she is free to discover nectar and nourishment in every flower blossom (opportunity) that opens to her!








To me the energy of the embodied Sacred Feminine feels like tingles and aliveness and pleasure in my whole body. It feels like my heart is just blossoming open with every breath; it feels like ripples and waves of pleasurable joy, and it was so foreign to me, especially when I was new to these practices. I was in such a shielded and guarded and armored body.” 
— Renee Jeffus









I Embody the Goddess!





art credit:
The Night Sky Butterfly by Sid Reger, Goddess Mandalas

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