Goddess Awaken

Once I made the conscious decision to physically embody the goddess, making choices that reflect this decision suddenly seems effortless. Now, I feel a renewed and profound LOVE for my body!

The realization that awakened me ~ My 'aha' moment:

I knew that I was neglecting my body, but I didn't realize at what cost... I have gained so much weight in recent years: my skin feels so dry, my hair seems thinner, my nails are brittle and I feel tired. Also, I notice the onset of little aches, pains and stiffness that were not there before. A decrease of flexibility, balance, agility and strength make me feel old when I want to feel vibrant, radiant, capable and comfortable in my body...

Yet, it wasn't until I saw a photograph taken (two weeks ago) of myself unaware at a party that I really saw how much I have changed! The image did not match my inner vision of myself, at all... I was shocked! It use to be that I didn't feel as confident or lovely as I appeared to others, even though I knew I was attractive. Now, after all these years of conscious practice and diligent focus to truly LOVE my authentic self: flaws, as well as beauty, I find that my physical appearance no longer reflects the way I see myself. (Isn't it ironic that when I was young and beautiful, I did not fully appreciate or even truly acknowledge myself as such, and yet, now that I am 53, I do, but my acknowledgement and humble appreciation have absolutely nothing to do with who I see when I look in the mirror?!) 

Today, I awoke with a renewed sense of purpose and sacred intent. I am going to love my body by making choices that truly honor my inner goddess. I am going to lose all this extra weight that I've been gathering and carrying around for far too long. Whether I have padded myself as an unconscious form of self protection, or a belief that I'm not 'good enough' because I do not have the body, shape and size I desire, or due to midlife changes brought on by perimenopause, or from excessive self criticism, shyness and past trauma, I don't know... but suddenly it no longer matters. I'm ready to let it go! 

Embrace what truly brings pleasure, beauty, purpose, meaning and blessings, and with a breath of kindness, release everything else. 

This has been my motto for years. I have let go of so much on other levels, yet physically, I keep holding on. Holding on to clothes that do not fit or flatter; holding on to boxes of possessions that I never use; holding on to a relationship that does not allow the free flow of my passion, playfulness and spontaneity; holding on to old habits and routines that no longer serve me and my inner goddess. Why do I do this? What am I afraid will happen if I let it go? Today, I let go of this unknown fear....


Affirmation:
It is safe for me to let go. I effortlessly release burdens, fear, doubt, self-consciousness, judgement, weight and heaviness. I deserve to love myself in ways that feel good. I am free.

28 March 2014 Journal Entry:

Today, I have decided to focus on embodying the Goddess on a physical level by loving my body enough to lose the excess weight I have been holding on to due to stress, fear and lack of proper self care. 

* I took a nude photo of myself, as well as my current weight and measurements in order to chart my progress and transformation.

AWAKENING: 
Embodying the Goddess on a physical level requires a daily practice of self love, conscious choices, natural healing and moving my body in ways that feel good. 

PROMISE:
I will honor my divine feminine essence inside and out. 

TRUTH:
I love to prepare and eat fresh, organic, healthy food! I avoid processed foods, and fast food entirely. Yet, in the last five years I have been steadily gaining weight; most likely due to a combination of a lower level of exercise and the onset of perimenopause. 

At the first of the year I began yoga and practice twice a week for 45 minutes. I love how it has gently awakened my body awareness, while seriously moving me past my limitations. 

In addition to yoga, I now intend to walk (or move) 5-6 days a week, for at least an hour. I wish to ground into my body as a way to honor Mother Earth and to enjoy my sublime body more, through dance and other sensual, pleasurable ways... 

GOAL:
To joyfully release my excess weight so I can feel comfortable and blessed in my beautiful body for decades to come!

With this plan and my strong sense of conviction, I know that I will be able to embrace my body in ways that empower me to blossom and to physically embody the Goddess in ways that I have yet to discover. I am looking forward to this unfolding journey.

 

I Embody the Goddess!






art credit:
Dakini drawing from Tara Mandala, Colorado